Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
