guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
