On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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