That's when you crack a 10am beer
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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