it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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