U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
