And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
