You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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