last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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