found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The air was thick with penises
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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