she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
