Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
