You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
