Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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