your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
