you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
