quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
