I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
