I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
