Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
