So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
