Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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