just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
