He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
