I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Bring me that man meat
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
