I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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