The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
