She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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