Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
