im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
