We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
