apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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