I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
