Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
