I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
