I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
