I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
