On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
More tranny stories later!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
