hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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