I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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