That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
