There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
