i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
