Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
