i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a search helicopter?!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
