69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
