There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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