My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Who died my cat blue again?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
