If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
