Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
